Why I Hate Shopping

I hate shopping. There it is, it’s out there. What woman hates shopping? Me. Mind you, I have really tried to enjoy shopping in fact that’s exactly what I tried to do today.

This morning I had to do the weekly grocery shopping. Also, I had to stop by Staples to pick up a spare printer cartridge for the printer. I am now back in school where one of my teachers demands that we print off our homework each week so I better have a spare in the event the one we have runs out of ink.

I dislike the grocery store so much that I always have a list that is arranged in the layout of the store so I can quickly make my way through the store and purchase just the items on the list. It's like I’m in a contest each week to see how quickly I can get the items in my shopping cart and out of the store in record time without hitting anyone in the process.

So off I went this morning, trying to stay in a positive frame of mind to enjoy this great adventure called shopping. I stopped at Staples, thinking they opened at 8:00am, but I was 10 minutes early. They opened at 9:00am on Saturdays. I’m used to doing the grocery shopping on Wednesday’s or Friday’s so Staples is never a problem, but since I’m in school all day Friday and frantically finishing homework on Wednesday, the shopping has lately been done on Saturday.

No problem, I thought, I’ll just go to Kroger’s then come back when I’m done. Kroger’s is on the other side of the shopping center where Staples is with a conveniently attached road to get to it.

Walking towards the Kroger's, I started examining the thought of grocery shopping coming to the conclusion that is why grocery stores have sales. Women like sales, in fact women love sales and will do just about anything to get to a sale if there is something they want or even think there might be something they want. I imagine that is why grocery stores have sales, to get women to want to be there and most important that while they are there they are in a pleasant mood. I hate to imagine what the atmosphere of the store would be like with a hundred women in a really bad mood. I shudder at the thought.

First I had to visit the bottle return area. Keeping a positive mind that there might be just one plastic/can bottle return unit working and not all of them beeping in need of assistance, I boldly enter the return area. I was pleasantly surprised that they were all functioning and there was only one gentleman there using the glass bottle one, that meant I had all of them to myself. Which one to choose? So I randomly chose one hoping that the bottle/can insertion area had recently been cleaned so the plastic bottles didn’t come shooting back at me because the machine couldn’t read the IPC code, or the basket that holds the crushed returned bottles wasn’t one bottle from being full.

I approached one and started inserting the cans. There were so many of them. Mind you, each time I go grocery shopping I return the plastic beverage bottles and beer cans so they will not accumulate making this tasks worse. Can after can went into the return. Twin, my brother, has been staying with us the entire week and he has been making the Irish proud with his drinking during the day while he is on vacation and BH has been joining him in the evening. But all is not lost, at least at the end of this ordeal I came away with a receipt for some money back for my effort.

I went in and purchased the items on my list forgetting my nice reusable shopping bags which now resulted in so many plastic bags to put in the car instead of just a few that are neatly packed in rectangular fashion. Why do they put only one item in plastic bag when more than one can fit? God only knows.

Okay, one grocery store done, one to go.

Back to Staples I went. I remembered that I should also pick up printer paper since I no doubt will run out before the end of the semester. I found the paper then searched for the printer cartridges. Why do they change the location of the cartridges each time I visit?

While searching for the cartridges I looked at the printers since I want a new one but decided I couldn’t purchase one because my DVD player on my computer is broken making it impossible to install the software to operate it. The printer I have been using isn’t Wi-Fi and is quite old, but we use it as fax. My computer is a laptop that I use in a different room than the printer. So every time I want to print I have to unplug the laptop, take it to the printer, hook up the cable, turn the printer on then print. Then reverse the order and return the laptop back to where it belongs only to discover I forgot to print something. It’s becoming quite frustrating.

I purchased another Wi-Fi printer after our other one broke quite a while ago, but can’t get this Epson one installed since it refuses to take my internet password. I then tried to install the software to use it with a printer cable but it insists that my computer is a Mac when it’s a PC. But I don’t even want to go there at this time. Needless to say, it would much easier just to buy another Lexmark printer that I’m sure I can get working.

I finally found the cartridges and there was a salesperson working in that area. I’m not quite sure if it was a guy or girl since the hair was cropped close the sides with about 1" sticking straight up on top, several hooped earrings in the ears as well as the nose, but the voice was a little higher than a guys. Regardless, the salesperson was very helpful and located the cartridge that I needed.

Since we purchased the computer from Staples I asked how long it would take to fix the DVD player. BH, my better half, had insisted that we purchase the repair contract with the computer and there's still almost a year left on the contract. It seemed like a good idea at the time because if we didn’t use it we could get a refund on the full price of the contract.

The DVD player seems to work since it spins up nicely, but the drive isn’t recognized by the computer. The salesperson told me that I would have to call the repair center, God knows where, then they would ship me a box and I could overnight it to them at no cost. Then they would repair the computer and send it back. This is unacceptable at this time since I need the laptop for school.

Just out of curiosity I asked if they had external DVD players which I assumed they did. I had already checked on line, not at Staples, but they were over $100.00. The salesperson said of course then escorted me to the area where they had several makes. They had two that he/she recommended. For $10.00 more I could get one that reads and writes. All for the low price of $59.99. So instantly I said I’ll take it; after all it’s only $50.00 and change.

Happily I went to the register and checked out with my purchases, never bothering to get the printer. I was only thinking that finally I could watch Burn Notice from my DVDs instead of rebuying each season from Amazon to watch on my computer while I did homework and to capture screen shots for my blog and to share with others.

I went to Meijer and finished my grocery shopping in a pleasant mood knowing I had a DVD player just waiting to be plugged into my computer.

I returned home with the back of my van full of wonderful food and my DVR. I grabbed the Staples bag and a few others and joyfully went into the house. BH greeted me and took the bags from my hand as Twin went to the car to start retrieving the other bags.

BH looked into the staples bag, probably to find out why it was so full since I had only told him I was getting the printer cartridge. He pulled out the DVD player and just looked at me. As I look back at the situation I think he was trying to calm himself down before opening his mouth, or he was scheming. I’m not sure which.

“Why did you buy this?” He asked.

“You know, mine’s broken.”

“But it can be fixed.” He added.

“But I need it.”

“You need it?”

By now I realize he is unhappy, so my mind is frantically trying to come up with a very good reason to have purchased the DVD player.

“Yes, mine is broken.” I said trying to buy more time.

“Get it fixed.” He said, just as a thought entered my mind.

“I would but I need the computer for homework. You know BH, I have to mail that computer in to get it fixed. I talked to a salesperson who told me that Staples will have to send me a box so I can send it in to get fixed. Then I won’t have a computer until I get it back.”

“What about your old one?” He said. Darn, I thought. I forgot I still had my old laptop.

Quickly coming up with an excuse I said. “Honey, I have so much going on now. If I want to use that old one I have to back up all of the current files then move them to the old computer and that takes time. Beside that computer has Windows XT and they don’t support that any longer.” I realize as I’m saying this, it doesn’t make sense and I'm not giving him a strong enough excuse.

“But we can get the DVD in your computer fixed for free. This DVD player cost money, Anne.”

Frantically I’m searching for a valid reason for the purchase other than the ones I’ve already given.

“I like to watch Burn Notice episodes on my computer while I do homework and I can’t do that.”

“What about the episodes that you purchased from Amazon. Can’t you watch those?”

Oh, oh. He must have received the credit card bill and found out about my Amazon purchases before I had a chance to tell him about it. This situation is getting worse not better. My mind is racing now for a solution.

“Honey, I’ve got to put away the groceries.” I said as I tried to get around him.

By now Twin has returned with some grocery bags and sees BH’s face.

“Hey, is someone going to help me with these bags?” He casually asked.

“Give me a minute and I’ll help you.” BH replied to Twin.

Twin gave me a look of ‘I tried to help’ when BH returned his attention to me. Then he looked back at Twin and said, “You mind giving us a minute?”

“No problem I’ll get the rest.” Then Twin left to get more items from the car.

BH gave me a signal of ‘now look what you made me do’ as he pointed with his head at Twin as he was leaving.

“Well?” BH asked waiting for an answer.

“Well what?”

“Anne, you know exactly what. Can’t you watch the episodes you’ve already purchased?”

By now I have another excuse. “Honey, I don’t have all of them yet. What if I want to watch one from season 1, after all season one contains my favorite episodes?”

I apparent hit a nerve, because instantly his head went back, eyes towards the heavens, he took a deep breath, his head came back down, and he just looked at me. I wanted to laugh. His behavior was just like Michael Westen, but I knew better. Then another thought came to my mind and I almost lost it. I was wondering if I turned around if he would strangle the air as if it were my neck.

Taking advantage of the moment of the humor I had inside of me I said. “It didn’t cost very much when you take away the price of season 1 that I might not buy now.” I wasn’t going to rule out buying season 1 after all I might still want that one to access anywhere so I don’t have to bring the DVD player each time. You never know. But that humor failed my thought process. He couldn’t have known that I just bought season 3. Then I wondered how many seasons were on that credit card bill. I had just admitted I only had one left to buy. Oh, well might as well get it all out there at one time.

He started to say something, but I interrupted him, “You know buying that DVD player might have saved us quite a bit of money in the long run.”

He was standing there in his white undershirt, you know the kind that have no sleeves and are scooped necked that really show off your guys muscles, with his mouth opened. He looked so hot, just like Michael Westen, that all I could think of was giving him a hug, then I recalled our situation and decided against it. He then put his palm on the counter and leaned on it as I started pulling items out of the shopping bags.

“How do you figure, Anne.” He stopped, just looking at me like, ‘what lame excuse is she going to come up with this time.’

Was I seeing a hint of a smile that he was trying to suppress? I continued, “That service contract you purchased has a refund option in it. If we don’t use it we get our money back which is a lot more than that DVD player cost. So technically I just saved you a lot of money.” I smiled at him. Then went over to him and put my arms around his waist. He took his hand off from the counter and put both of his arms around my shoulders. I looked up to him as he looked down at me, and unfortunately I added, “Your welcome.”

He took his arms off from around me, put his head in the air again, then turned around just as Twin was bringing in the final load of groceries, and said “Women!”, then walked out of the kitchen. But as he was leaving her turned around and just smiled at both Twin and me, shaking his head.

Twin looked at me and asked, “Is he always like that?”

I just looked at Twin and said, “Yes, that’s his way of telling me he loves me.” Twin had this puzzled look but I recalled last Sunday when he was giving me a hard time about communion and our conversation afterwards and the times I’ve visited his office with the kind remarks his colleagues tell me what BH says about me. It is just his way of dealing with marriage. And besides he now has another story to share with the guys at the water cooler.

BH married late in life never expecting to find someone who could tolerate being with him. He loves me so much and tells me so in the most wonderful ways that touch my heart. He never raises his voice. I could have flown off the handle, but what good would that have done and I think he has figured that out as well. We all have to make concessions in marriage. I tolerate him and he tolerates me. We never really fight, just have these little discussions, never blowing things out of proportion or raising our voices at one another. If he insisted, I would gladly have returned the DVD and just waited until school was over to get my computer fixed or used my old one until the DVD returned back from Staples. I want peace in my marriage and I'm willing to make the compromises.

Besides he is thinking about our future. The downturn in the economy hit him hard and I'm sure it is weighing on his mind. He has that type of personality. I love that he is concerned for his family and he is a good provider.

Most likely he was just teasing. He has the strangest ways of teasing me. I really am quite careful of the money I spend. Like I said, I hate shopping. I don't go to the mall and buy clothes, shoes, purses or jewelry that most other women buy and he has often encouraged me to buy new clothes, but my old ones are just fine for the time being. We rarely go out for dinner, but I try to fix a good well balanced dinner at home -- that's probably why we don't go out -- which saves us money. We never go to the movies, instead we sit at home cuddled together watching TV instead, just enjoying being together with a bowl of popcorn. We entertain friends, mostly during the summer, with an outdoor barbecue and a fire afterwards in the fire pit. But when it comes to electronics -- and Burn Notice -- for some reason I have no control of myself. BH knows that, so that's why I believe he was just teasing me.

Did he dash my excitement about purchasing the DVD player? Not really, after all I now have this wonderful story to share with you.

Why do I share this with you? It's just another silly Anne story to make you appreciate the spouse you have or do not have. Some of you are thankful you aren't married to me, others are thankful you aren't married to BH, and others are just thankful you aren't married. God has given each of us the perfect partner; we just have to realize it. After all it could be worse.

All I know is that we both appreciate each other. Isn't that what we all want? It might not always seem like that, but I make a point of telling him this on a regular basis, not only verbally but by the way I treat him. His personality is different than mine so I can't expect him to always tell me that, but he does every now and then because of my behavior towards him.

One thing I have learned is that if I'm not getting what I want/need from him it is because I am giving him that. You get back what you give out. If I don't give him respect, he will most likely stop respecting me. If I'm not kind to him, he will eventually not be kind to me. It's just as simple as that. But I also realize that I can't expect to receive what he can't give me. I can't expect any more out of him than what he brought into the marriage and vice versa. That doesn't mean I won't get it, it just means I shouldn't expect it. All I know is that I love him unconditionally. I will love him no matter what.