Today is the anniversary of the attacks on the United States on Tuesday September 11, 2001, by a group of terrorists who hated the United States and the freedoms that are its trademark.
Most of us remember where we were when we heard the news and what we felt watching those horrific scenes. Some of us were home, at school or work that day. Some were very young and some quite old, but we all were affected by the events.
Each of us have own unique experience with many emotions felt by others. Regardless, all of our lives throughout the world were changed on that day.
I remember that morning almost perfectly. I walked out the door and marveled at the beauty. It was a clear morning without the haze from a hot summer humid day. The colors were so vibrant. I had taken Monday off from work and had a Tuesday morning meeting that I was required to attend. I was running a little late, but the meeting wasn’t until 10am.
As I made my way out of the subdivision or community where I was living I turned on the radio. I normally leave it off so I can gather my thoughts and plans for the day, but this particular morning I was in a wonderful mood and thought I would enjoy one of the local radio stations that not only played music but the host and staff always were comical.
I was almost to the entrance when I turned on the station. Immediately I noticed a seriousness to the host’s voice. He was talking about this strange event that just happened in New York City moments ago where a small airplane had hit one of the Twin Towers. They were watching it on the TV and telling the viewers what they were witnessing and speculating on how this could have happened. Maybe the person had a heart attack, or fell asleep. The building was much too large not to have seen it.
While they were watching and giving us a blow by blow account the second plane hit. I knew instantly it was deliberate. Soon the host said the same thing and each one of his staff was starting to agree. My hand went instantly up to my mouth in horror. I couldn’t believe that it had happened and I wanted to shout at all of the drivers I was passing to let them know what had just occurred. Also I wanted desperately to return home but continued to my meeting knowing that it would most likely be cancelled and everyone sent home for the day after all the United States was just attacked.
Once I arrived I found out that the meeting still was going to happen. By now there were various rumors floating around. I tried to check the internet for news but every website was being hit beyond their capacity and I couldn’t even access a front page.
I immediately went to one of my friends and asked him about the meeting and any news he knew of. He didn’t know any more than I did. We talked about the number of people who were employed in the Twin Towers. As I recall there were about 30,000 people that could possibly die. I went back to my desk and gathered the information I needed for the meeting and went to the conference room hoping others might have more news. My friend joined us in the meeting and he said that the Pentagon had just been hit and there were two more planes suspected of being involved, with one most likely on the way to the White House. Later we heard the other one was detailed at the airport before it left the ground.
We were informed by one of the directors in the company that they would remain open and the best thing we could do for America was to work even harder that day. I couldn’t believe that, but then I could since this company had a flag pole outside without ever a flag on it.
We all had to remain there with very little work being done since we were trying to get news anyway possible.
I remember my friend telling me when the first tower collapsed. I wanted to cry and I was so angry at the company for not letting us go home to watch the event on TV and mourn but being a professional I had to keep this new resentment for this company hidden. Thankful we had instant messenger at that time and we were texting back and forth sharing the news with everyone. They should have just let us go home.
The owner and upper management were all Democrats. I don’t have anything against either party. I hate politics and love both Democrats and Republicans. I consider myself an America in fact last year I wrote a paper on it that has somehow been lost. Hopefully I can find and add it to this blog. I don’t define myself by some political party. I only mention this because we were confronted on a daily basis with bigoted hatred each day towards Republicans. I felt bad for those around me that might be a Republican and having to keep quiet about that fact knowing that if it was found out they would be fired. How horrible it was for them to think these people they were working for each day hated them for their beliefs.
This company had employees from all regions of the world including the Middle East. I felt badly for those from the Middle East that day since they had no involvement with the events that just happened. I remember praying for them and hoping they wouldn’t lose their jobs. Since upper management had no problem voicing their bigotry would they also hate all Muslims, or all people from the Middle East?
I remember coming home that night exhausted not accomplishing very much that day. I stayed glued to the TV from the time I got home until the time I left for work each day without ever turning the TV off, even throughout the night.
The day of the attacks grounded all planes. I remember how quiet it was in the neighborhood. Everyone was glued to the TV and not outside. Days went by without hearing even children playing. That night it was so quiet without the planes going overhead. It was eerie. We didn’t know what would happen next.
I took it harder than some because I had lived in a country for a while that had terrorist attacks on a regular basis. I remember the peace when I returned to the United States and now they were here also. I didn’t want to return to that way of life that every time you went to a public place you looked for gunman or vans that contained bombers. I didn’t want to read in the newspaper or online about civilians who were just out eating at their favorite restaurant when it was bombed leaving them maimed for life, just for eating and enjoying the evening.
Those events changed my world. Before that I never had problem falling asleep or even staying asleep all night. I would sleep until I had enough without moving a muscle then I would get up and live my day without being tired. Sometimes I would get 5 hours sleep sometimes 6 or 7, rarely 8 unless I was sick, which is also very rare.
Today I cannot get to sleep at night and only can sleep for a couple hours maximum at a time. I no longer think about 9/11, but my sleep definitely was affected but also after 9/11 I was diagnosed with a pain disease that also effects sleep. Last year I finally turned the TV off at night. I used to have it on loud enough that you couldn’t understand what was being said, but loud enough so my thoughts wouldn’t take control preventing me from getting to sleep. It was hard on BH but the TV is closer to my side, without it on I would lay awake all night long never fully falling asleep until many days went by, then only getting a couple of hours sleep. It was a horrible way to live.
I no longer work at the company and all of the upper management has resigned, but they started a trend of voicing hatred that still continued until I left.
The events of 9/11 instantly brought us all together united, but soon politics took over and each party had to attack the other leaving us divided hoping to take control of our nation which often happens with politics. I look back at those days before 9/11 and compare them with today. It is sad how divided our nation has become.
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