In Memoriam of Nate Westen

Last night I witnessed the senseless, tragic death of Nate Westen. He was shot by a sniper in front of Michael, his brother, the other love of my life. It was horrible, such a waste of a precious soul, much too young to leave this world.

I met my dear friend Nate over five years ago through Michael and have come to love him like my own brother. Through the years I have watched him grow and mature, becoming a great husband, father, son and brother, loved by all.

He tried many business ventures, each of them failing until he bought his own limo, with the help from his mother. Eventually, the business became successful both in Las Vegas and Atlantic City. He was also a successful gambler, at least some of the time. who was trying to reform just before his death.

He was a dear kind soul who would drop everything to aid a friend.

First there was Bill Reese, an old school friend, whose daughter, Jenna, had been unwittingly lured into a sex-trafficking scheme by the Wilhelm brothers. Nate worked alongside his brother to successfully return Jenna to her father before being lost forever overseas.

Next there was Jake Miller, who had become unknowingly involved with ex-Mossad arm dealers, by taking bribes to overlook some dodgy import/export transactions. Jake had second thoughts and tried to turn down the latest bribe only to have his, his wife and unborn child's life threatened. With the help of his brother, Nate was able to send the Zamar's fleeing the country.

Nate also helped Michael get away from the scene of a homicide that happened as Michael was speaking with Phillip Cowan, who he thought was responsible for his CIA "burn notice." Nate rushed to the scene to pick up Michael. As Nate was about to drop him off, Michael received a phone call from Fi, at the time his on and off again girlfriend. She and Sam Axe were is great danger. Nate sacrificed his truck to save Fi, Michael and himself from some dangerous drug dealers. He also provided a safe place for his mom, Michael, and Fi while an international conspiracy organization was looking for Michael. Nate was able to pick up Madeline, his mom, who was at home and bring her to the safe-house without detection. Later he was able to get himself and his mom away from the area and out of town.

Then there was Katya, another dear friend of Nate. Her sister, Elena was being held by the Russian mob who were requesting $50,000.00 dollars for her release. Elena had been smuggled into the United States and now the mob wanted to be paid, otherwise she was going to be sold. Nate helped his brother by poising as a guard. They had earlier kidnapped Ivan who knew the whereabouts of Elena and Michael had joined him as a fellow captive. Now Michael needed to escape with Ivan to reach the girls. To do so, Michael needed to stage a fight with Nate so he and Ivan could escape undetected. Nate preformed his role spotless. As a result Elena was reunited with her sister.

Nate again came to the aid of his brother by using his newly purchased limo and poising as a bodyguard observing a girl Michael was chauffeuring to try to make Lesher think twice about kidnapping her.

I remember the time when Nate was deceived into flying from Las Vegas to Miami to meet with a potential investor in his limo service. He was being used by Tyler Brennen to force Michael into stealing integral pieces that were necessary to break into a lab containing a weapon. Brennen had brought in the Butcher just to entertain or even kill Nate, if necessary. Michael was getting bold and refusing to help Brennen unless he received information, so Brennen had the Butcher bring Nate to the scene while Michael was overtaking the security guards. Michael returned to refuse helping only to find his brother. Brennen shot Nate in the arm to prove that he was serious and would kill Nate if Michael didn't do his bidding. Both Westen brothers survived the incident.

After Nate married Ruth they drove from Las Vegas to Miami so Ruth could meet his mom. They were technically on their honeymoon. Unfortunately for Nate, Michael was dealing with Dead Larry who was back in town. Nate had to watch over his mom for Michael while he handled the situation which almost ended in an annulment for him and Ruth. Nate decided that his mom should move to Las Vegas for safety and to be close the her future grandchildren. Instead, Madeline decided to stay in Miami near Michael, Fi and Sam.

Nate received a phone call in Las Vegas from one of the Taylor brothers who were in trouble. The Taylor brothers had some cars stolen from their shop and needed them back. After Nate arrived in Miami, he and Michael discovered that one of the cars had contained drugs that Caleb needed back. With the help from Michael, Nate was able to get the Taylor's out of trouble. Nate needed the revenue from the job because he and Ruth were expecting their first child.

After Charlie was born, he and Ruth moved back to Miami. Unfortunately, Nate had started gambling again and wanted to get away from the temptation of Las Vegas. He needed the support of Michael and his mother. He loved Ruth and his son so much he didn't want to lose them.

Jessica, another friend of Nate's was in trouble. Her father had recently died and Jessica owed a loan shark some money who was threatening her and wanted the boat her father had left her. Nate, with the help of his brother, was able to get the head of the loan shark organization arrested. freeing Jessica from his grips.

Several weeks ago, Nate announced that Ruth had taken the baby and moved back to Las Vegas. Sadly, Ruth wanted out of their marriage so Nate was staying at his mother's house.

Michael felt bad for his brother, but he was dealing with terrible problems of his own. He needed Nate's help since Fi, Michael's girlfriend, was in prison on false charges. Agent Pearce's fiance had been killed a couple years back, and his killer, Ahmad Damour, was in town and Pearce wanted his hide. Ahmad has been feeding the CIA valuable information, so the CIA wouldn't arrested him. It was now up to Michael, Nate and the rest of the team to steal that information. Without it, Ahmad had no protection. Nate, Sam and Madeline keep their eyes on Ahmad's son, Sharif, while Michael, Jesse and Pearce dealt with Ahmad. Nate made it possible for Sam to get the drive containing the information Pearce needed, saving the day.

Michael needed to capture Anson, who had framed Fi, so that she could be released from prison. But to find Anson's whereabouts he had to help Rebecca save her brother, Trent. Anson had given Wes false information and he was tracking Trent down. Michael needed more background information about Wes' father who had recently died in prison. Nate and Jesse traveled to Tampa to find a fellow prisoner who could supply the information they needed. While in Tampa, Nate learned valuable cattle prod safety rules. The information Nate acquired was instrumental in getting his brother in with Wes ultimately sending Wes in a different direction off the trail of Trent. Rebecca then supplied Michael with Anson's location.

Finally, this week, the team knew where Anson would be last night. Nate traveled with Jesse, Michael and Pearce to Atlantic City, since Nate was familiar with the city. Nate tried very hard to help his brother get Anson, but Michael wasn't happy with his tactics. Discouraged, Nate went to one of the casinos, near the airport waiting for a plane to get home.

Anson was hiding out in Tides Cafe not far from the airport. Once Michael found where Anson was hiding it would take him 20 minutes to get there. He called Nate to go to the Cafe and just observe Anson until they arrived, but not to approach since Anson was most likely armed.
 
Nate saw Anson walking and took him by surprise, knocking him to the ground. He grabbed Anson's gun from his waist and escorted him outside at gunpoint waiting for the CIA to arrive. Anson assured Nate he would be out within a week since he knew where the bodies were.

Just as Michael approached Anson, both Nate and Anson were shot. Anson died immediately, but Nate held on long enough for Michael to reach him and hold his brother's head as he lay dying.

So this is for you, dear friend, may you always remain in our hearts and rest in peace. Farewell, until we meet gain.



Nathanial (Nate) Elias Westen born March 3, 1970 to Madeline and the late Frank Westen; tragically died July 27, 2012. He is survived by wife, Ruth; son, Charlie of Las Vegas, NV; his mother, Madeline; brother, Michael of Miami, FL; Funeral services, Thursday, August 2, 2012 at 9pm EST. Visiting hours Friday July 27, 2012 11:00pm, Saturday July 28, 2012 10:00am and August 2, 2012 3:00pm. USA Network will televise viewing and service.

Be the Blessing

Last week I was working hard to finish the latest issue of WWMWD — Tips I Learned from a Spy, How to Get Out from "Under the Gun" so I would be ready to start this week's issue that involved the great killing of one of the long time cast members. I was wrapping up Part III of a four part issue. It was about Fi's time in prison dealing with a contract hit on her life. I was struggling with the edits.

This was only the second issue. The first issue How to Obtain "Hot Property" contained three parts. I had difficulty proofing Part II. Each time I came to this one line I would start crying. I am very emotionally involved with the series so the line was very personal to me. Now I was on Part III of the current issue and there were three sections that were causing me to cry. Each time I would make a pass through proofing the article the emotions became stronger.

After reading it through a couple of times I twitted about my difficulty and mentioned that I needed a hug. On the next reading I was still crying so decided to call BH. If I couldn't get a hug from BH at least maybe his voice would calm me down.

I don't like to call him at work, so rarely do so. In my opinion it doesn't look good for the boss or even an employee to be on the phone over something so trivial with his wife, besides I give him enough to talk about as it is.

So I wouldn't disturb him if he was with a client or in a meeting, I didn't call his cell, instead I called the office and got his secretary. I asked if he was available and she put me right through to him. And of course he was alarmed that something was wrong so I took advantage of the moment and told him about Fi, starting to cry all over again.

Fi was tired, she was scared, she wasn't eating well and someone was trying to kill her. He assured me she would be okay and it would work out. She and Michael would be together again. I could tell that he was chuckling under his breathe about his crazy wife and her Burn Notice.

Good news, he was closing the office early that afternoon, sending everyone home to enjoy the summer afternoon and get an early start on the weekend. He would be home shortly to give me my much needed hug.

Yesterday, I decided I would take my BH out to lunch, we hadn't done that for a while. I arrived a little early so I could say hi to everyone and deliver a big dish of homemade chocolate chip cookies.

I ran into Jim on my way to BH's office. Jim had invited us for dinner next weekend and I asked if he was sure we couldn't bring something. I told him we were looking forward to spending some time with him, his wife and family. He had his tablet in his hand, and said "Oh good, seeing you has reminded me I need to put something in my calendar." I was a little puzzled, but that's nothing new. He went on to say that he had to put a note to remind himself to put away their black fan before I came over. He didn't want a perfectly good fan to end up in the trash like ours did.

"Oh, you heard about that?" (If you are unfamiliar with this topic see "Three Words I Hate.) I looked at him oddly and wondered if he had heard about the Fi incident, but he didn't say anything more than to give me a wink and good bye as he made his way to his office.

I had been planning on telling BH about the spider, see (The Great Spider Incident of 2012), but thought maybe I should wait until he got home. Maybe by the next day he would forget about it and not tell everyone in the office.

I continued my way to his office, stopping to say hi to everyone and giving them cookies. His secretary greeted me and asked how I was and what was new. The spider incident immediately came to mind. Since it was close to lunch time, I thought maybe the subject might be inappropriate. So I told her, "Why spoil it for BH. I'm sure he keeps you informed." She nodded in agreement with a smile.

I hesitated for a moment, then asked her, "Did you hear about the black fan?" She nodded again and said, "Oh, yea. We heard about it."

This aroused my curiosity. "In a good way, or bad way. Is he mad about it?" Then, I quickly added before she had a chance to answer, "Never mind. Maybe I don't want to know." She answered anyway in a whisper, "I don't think he could ever be mad at you. He loves you so much." I smiled, and said, "Thank you, you've made my day."

I was reminded of a saying at the bottom of my friend's web site "To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world."

You know, it's the little things that we say to one another that makes all the difference. Our words can either be a blessing or a curse. I'm glad she decided to be the blessing.

The Great Spider Incident of 2012

Today started out the usual. I got up, had my typical morning with God, said good morning to my friends on twitter, then started working. When it was time I made coffee, and breakfast for BH and sent him on his way.

I needed to use the restroom. That's when things changed.

With a smile on my face, I ventured into the room without turning on the light, still in la-la-land thinking about the wonderful time this morning with BH. I lifted the lid and something caught the corner of my eye. What is that in the sink?

So I flipped on the light and there it was. This huge, gigantic, enormous, humongous spider, you know, about the size of a nickle. It had at least 20 legs of various sizes. I thought they only had 8? Why did this one have so many?

I quickly grabbed a tissue, and it saw me. It tried to escape the clutches of the tissue by running around the bowl, each time escaping capture.

Using my advantage and hovering over it, watching it's every move, I quickly changed tactics. Now I tried to stab it with the tissue, continuing to miss it. I started to panic, what if it escaped? They have in the past, but then I remembered it was huge and they are much easier to catch than those jumping kind, you know the ones you never can catch.

Finally, I got it, so I quickly squeezed the tissue so it couldn't escape. Then I heard that horrible, dreadful sound...the crunch and my heart sank. It was dead.

Reality immediately returned. I needed to quickly dispose of the evidence. So I threw it into the awaiting toilet bowl, quickly closed the lid and flushed.

A sigh of relief...until I remembered why I was in there. Was it dead? Did it go down? I slowly lifted the lid and contemplated what to do. I really had to go.

So I quickly said a prayer hoping that I wouldn't feel anything crawling down there. After I finished, I stood and watched as it flushed, looking for any spider remains, and lifted the seat examining the bowl to see if it was there. It wasn't. If it lived, could it crawl back up?

The adrenaline was really going by now, much more than after my daily exercise routine. I thought my heart would leap out of my chest.

Then I recalled all of the legs. I needed to tell BH about this. Then I realized he might not believe me. Why didn't I take a photo for proof? I could have zoomed in, counted the legs and measured the body. Oh, that's right, it could have escaped in the process.

Further investigation was needed. Internet here I come. Using Google I searched for types of spiders, might as well know what kind of spider it was, too.

I found a web site that had a list of all of them, I really thought the list would have been longer. I know I've seen more varieties than that site listed. To see a picture or description I had to click on each link, so I decided to go back and clicked on the link for images of types of spiders instead.

I examined several rows of spiders and they all had 8 legs. It was so disgusting that I couldn't continue. Now I needed to concentration on something else to get those images out of my mind.

So I left and took a short drive in the country taking some pictures. Returned home, downloaded them and developed a few.

After some time, I ventured back in to clean the sink, toilet and tub to get rid of any trace of the spider. When I got to the tub, there was a baby spider crawling on the edge.

Had I killed its mother? I quickly grabbed another tissue and sent the orphan to be with its mother. Could there be more? Raid! I needed Raid.

Into the pantry I ran. Grabbed the can, then ran back and sprayed the bathroom, choking as the fumes entered my nostrils. Mass execution. Funeral immediately after. Orphans reunited with their mother.

A thought came over me, was I playing God. Of course not, God doesn't kill. Only Satan does. John 10:10 "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill and to destroy; I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."

Was I acting like Satan? Then I remembered Flip Wilson and thought "the devil made me do it." Aw, no he can't do that either. We have free will and power over him.

Was I evil? At that point I really didn't care. The spider and her family were history and hopefully reunited. I will repent for now at least...but would do it again in a heartbeat. Please God, forgive me for my evil ways.

Isn't it funny how our mind works? Or is it just me?

Shucks, now I have the clean the bathroom all over again.

Why is Change so Difficult?

Recently, or at least fairly recently, ok a few years ago, our garbage service switched to the larger trash receptors to eliminate the need to handle them by an individual, apparently reducing costs for the company. They were kind enough to give us one.

Now, what do we do with the old ones?  We had recently replaced our old cans with ones that had wheels.  So we decided to use them for yard waste. In our state it’s illegal to put yard waste in landfills.  So we threw out the old yard waste cans. I wonder how many landfills it took to hold old trash cans in the United States for the switch to these new ones?

This new trash container was so large it didn’t fit in the garage where the old cans went and we would have to remove a car to get it out.  It's against the rules in our neighborhood to have garbage cans in view from the street.

We all hate change. Granted it is a part of our lives, and change normally is a good thing but this change I was having a problem with. I was very comfortable with the old system, even though it occasionally required multiple garbage cans and multiple trips to the curb.

Now we needed to find another location. A simple solution was to put it on the patio near the sliding door. The little step provided a nice lift for me to get the garbage in the can (you need to be 6 feet tall to comfortably put garbage in these larger cans, which I’m not.)

And there was a sidewalk leading to the curb. Perfect, except when you are sitting outside you are with the garbage.

Recently I decided I didn’t want it on the patio during the summer when we do a lot of entertaining outside. I must say, having the trash can on the patio makes cleanup a lot easier.

Ok, now where to put it in the summer? There’s a nice spot out back on the other side of the house, out of view from the street. During the summer we can wheel it on the grass to the curb and it fits nicely between shrubs out of view.

It’s not bad taking the hike to get rid of the garbage, except when it’s raining, or when there’s quite a bit to take out. This week I was lazy and put non-garbage stuff in the garage so today I decided to empty all of the waste baskets and take the stuff from the garage to the can. It was quite a journey which involved multiple trips.

BH used to take care of the garbage. But…occasionally, mind you not very often, he would leave for work and forget to take it to the curb, especially if it was after a holiday when it’s picked up a day late. So being the nice person I am, I suggested that I take on that responsibility.

When I moved the garbage can out back, he kindly reminded me that it was my responsibility to take care of the garbage. He wouldn’t mind helping if the can was closer.

When I was done taking all of the garbage out, and returned home at a lengthy absence, he was laughing at me. “Why didn’t you move the can closer to the house then move it back when you were done?” “Why, and miss out on all that exercise?”, I responded, wondering why I didn’t think of that?

Maybe a nice cozy cover for the garbage can, so it can return back to its home? We have covers for the lawn furniture; I wonder where I can find one for the can?

When a Door Closes

Dear Friends,

If you have read my blog “A Heart In Sorrow” you know that recently I suffered a loss in my life that hit me by surprise.

I have been trying hard to bury it, but occasionally it still surfaces making me want to puke and brings tears to my eyes.

With the help from God and Mama’s word of wisdom I have been going through the 5 stages of loss and grief quickly.

First there was the Denial. Oh, that can’t be…  It’s so wrong… This can’t be happening… But soon reality took over.

Second is Anger. I’m rarely angry, because anger is ugly and unhealthy. Anger is foolish, especially when you have no control over the loss or situation. Anger only hurts you. Anger prevents you from seeing a clear picture of the situation. On further study of this phase I find that pain is also involved. This phase I definitely experienced!  But it is now just a mere hurt, a bruise of sort that is subsiding and healing. Another part of this phase I experienced I would call disappointment instead of anger. Sometimes disappointment is with a situation, a person or even God. I’m still working on my disappoint, but it too has subsided.

Third is Bargaining, a way to regain control. I didn’t bargain but I sure asked for intervention. Thankfully, that phase was quickly dealt with.

Forth is Depression. Don’t you just hate depression? It’s such a downer, but seems to last the longest. Some people never seem to be able to get beyond this stage. It’s easily enough to get through once the mind is set to do so. If stayed at too long, it becomes comfortable, so this stage must also be quickly dealt with. I’m still sad which will probably stay with me for a while, but I will not let it interfere or stop me from enjoying others around me or making them sad too.

Fifth and last is Acceptance. I have accepted the loss and can feel the change deep inside which is a good sign that I’m on the road to recovery.

When a sorrow occurs I don’t always go through these steps in order. I usually reach bargaining way before Anger and a form of Acceptance before Depression. Often I revisit each of these steps. But before we can completely move on we must go through all 5 with Acceptance last.

I have had the wake. I can now cherish my memories fondly many times without tears. I am grateful for that time in my life but still saddened that it has ended and I won’t be able to continue that relationship in the future. I will look back at that time with gratitude since it was so enriching and wonderful.

Recently, God has blessed me with a replacement for the future. God does this if we put our trust in Him.

Seasons come in and out of our life. I am now in a new season that will take some adjustment, but will soon become comfortable.

The old times will become a faded memory. So for now I will embrace the replacement and open my heart once again.

The Perfect Lifemate

I had lunch with a friend the other day and as usual I talked about me and BH. How my love for BH grows with each day we are together.

She’s single and confided in me that she wished she had a BH -- someone to share her life with, someone to have meals with, someone to go places with, someone to plan the future with, someone special.

As I sat there listening to her a thought came to me that I will share with you, too.

I explained to her that she did have a BH. God in his ultimate wisdom has provided us since birth with a BH. Some of us believe God or Jesus lives within us, others believe they only have their conscious. Whatever you believe there's always at least one BH within you.

You and your BH at times are best friends, other times enemies. You get angry, upset, and frustrated with BH. You may even yell, scream or hit your BH. Then other times you love, admire, and respect BH. Your own personal BH is your life partner.

You talk to your BH all day long and if you listen closely enough BH speaks back. BH goes with you wherever you do, you can't go anywhere without BH. You share feelings with BH that you would never share with another living soul. Your BH knows you better than anyone. Your BH understands you, comforts you in times of sorrow, and rejoices in your success and happiness. Your BH shares the same envisions, tastes, and most times likes doing what you’re doing. Your BH guides you along life’s journey. You are one.

Others of us have chosen to add another BH to our lives. As I explained, when we do this we also get his WH (worse half), so now we have two WH's and two BH’s in our life. Now there are four of us that have to get along. We take on added responsibility, work, and problems. It’s hard enough getting along with yourself and now you have to get along with someone you aren’t ever going to completely know or understand.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful having another BH, especially if you have chosen well. I wouldn’t change that in my life.

Either way just be happy with the BH you have. God has truly blessed you. He has given you the perfect lifemate, YOU.

Doing the Twitter Happy Dance

I love twitter. It’s like talking to the universe. You put words out there and it doesn’t answer you back and you don’t expect it to.

Once in a while, the universe speaks and you get a retweet. And you think wow! I finally said something interesting that someone wants to share!

One day you get a reply or the big one…a TWEET directed at you and you are ecstatic. It knows you exist. You start doing the happy dance in your living room –- if you’ve ever potty trained an 18 month old, you know what the happy dance is.  #lifeisgood

Then one day you get a reply or a tweet in public, outside the privacy of your living room, and do the happy dance. People look at you strangely…they wonder why you are acting weird until you tell them who you just got a tweet from and they understand and celebrate with you!

An Adventure to Remember

This morning I awoke with the desire to have an adventure. Every day is an adventure to me, but I wanted to plan this one.

I quickly put in a few hours of work, fixed breakfast for BH, sent him off to work and tweeted to a new friend. Wrote a blog posting about a conversation I had this morning with BH and started tiding up planning what I would to do today.

I remembered this park in a nearby town that’s along a river. A friend works in the area that I haven’t seen for a while as well as my favorite Chinese restaurant. This adventure could end up being a combination of three wonderful events that on their own would be quite delightful.

I gave her a call to see if she wanted to have lunch and she was so excited I had called. We planned to meet at the Chinese restaurant, which was also her favorite, early to avoid the lunchtime rush.

On the way I ran a few errands.

With the Fourth of July just days away we needed a new flag. We actually needed it for Memorial Day and Flag Day but I was unable to find the one I wanted. I ran in and purchased one and few other items then made my way to return a pair of cute shoes I had purchased that didn’t fit. Those of you reading this consider yourself fortunate if you wear a M (medium) width shoe. You have such a large selection to choose from. Those of you like me who wear a S (slim) or N (narrow) you know what I’m talking about.

I digress…

I met my friend at the restaurant and we caught up on the latest news and reminisced about the past enjoying each other’s company and promising not to wait so long to do it again.

Full, happy and satisfied I made my way to the park by the river. Only seeing it in the past from the road I was unfamiliar with its layout. So camera in hand I venture out.

When I left home it was hazy and cloudy which I knew would lower the quality of the photos. By now the cloud layer was thinning and there was full sun but still hazy. No blue sky but plenty of sun. I said a quick prayer that I would capture at least one acceptable photo from this outing to include in this blog posting, I configured the camera to the best setting possible and started taking photos making needed adjustments to the camera before each photo.

I made my way through the picnic area and playground to the river where I met a woman with snow white hair moving to a new location. She was carrying a tackle box and two poles. I looked around the corner but didn’t see a companion and wondered how she could manage both poles. We talked briefly and I found out the fishing hadn't be good so far today.

This area of the river was unnavigable, containing thick brush along the shore and not very picturesque.

The temperature has increased since the time I left home and the humidity and dew point were obviously high making it uncomfortable. But, I was determined to get one photo and enjoy the outing so onward I went.

As I continued walking I came upon a foot bridge to the other side of the river and could see a man, much younger than the woman, in the distance fishing, Beyond that I could see another bridge. Instead of crossing the river I continued along the bank hoping to capture one good photo.

While walking a large fish jumped out of the water. I wanted to yell "They're over here." to the two fishing, but decided against it since they were too far away. The path turned into a road with the river obscured from view. Thinking I would eventually find the river again or the other bridge I continued.

I came upon a large gravel parking lot with an activity field in the distance and continued walking along the edge until I reached a walking trail. Thinking this would lead me back to the river I took the trail without a map.

The trail was more like a hiking trail with steep downhill embankments.

Choosing my outfit for lunch I had decided to forego my walking shoes instead choosing tennis shoes with a thin sole not expecting ravines to navigate.

The trail had several forks without a map to give you a clue as to which one to take so I kept choosing the wider one which eventually led to an open fenced space. After submerging from the forest I had to choose right or left. Having no clue where I was and still without access to a map, I chose left hoping that was the direction I came from.

By now I am quite hot and still without a photo. I did find a large bird in the forest and zoomed in hoping I could crop and make it distinguishable.  Maybe that would be the photo?

The path along the fence had a chain across it making me wonder if this was a sign not to go that way. Ignoring the warning, I ducked under the chain and climbed a steep hill grateful to see the parking lot and activity field in the distance. As I was climbing this hill I thought about yesterday’s blog “Where The Heck Am I?” then started laughing. Was I going to have to title today’s the same? Laughing made the climb more exhausting.

Retracing my steps I continued until I came upon a picnic table at the bottom of a steep embankment that I had seen earlier down by the river. The river was obscured from view by brush.  I decided to venture down to the table for a break hoping my shoes wouldn’t slip out from beneath, landing me on my butt.

After safely reaching the picnic table I discovered it was covered with thick dust that had turned to mud and dried as a result of recent rain. Not wanting my freshly washed tan shorts dirty I decided not to sit down for a much need rest. Seeing another trail I was able to find a clearing and took a few photos of the river that I knew in advance I wouldn’t like.

Still hopeful to take an acceptable photo, I retrace my steps, climb the embankment and continued on with the expectation of reaching the bridge I had avoided earlier and crossing over to the other side.

Now I am extremely overheated since I don’t sweat but I am grateful that I am not exactly like my nephew who doesn't have sweat glands. No cooling water with me to help, I continued on.

Reaching the bridge, hot and exhausted, I decide to go home hoping one of the photos could be enhanced enough to include in this blog. After entering the car I grab what once was an ice cold bottle of water to try to cool down. I looked in the mirror and sure enough my face was bright red from heat.

On the way home I remembered the fun time and great food at lunch with my friend. I am truly blessed. I now have a fun story to share with you and BH and have an adventure to remember.

A Man and His Whiskers

What’s with a man and his whiskers? I love a clean shaven man. When I met BH he was clean shaven.

I’m not particular pleased with the way the sink looks in the morning, but a little water and sponge takes care of that.

BH doesn’t like to shave on the weekends. I tell him “Ok, then I won’t shave my legs or under by arms either on the weekends.” He gives me this disgusting look. Girls, come on now, we need a break too. Right?

I do love that scrubby look with a little growth….for a short while…as long as it’s dark and it quickly leaves.

Well, this morning he informs me that he's planning on growing a beard on our two week vacation at the cabin. There’s that nightmare word again “cabin”! Lord, I’m still waiting on you for some intervention here.

Maybe I won’t shave either while on vacation…wait…that’s even disgusting me.

Where the Heck Am I?

As I mentioned in the previous blog I had a funny incident on my way home from a photo outing for a state wide photo challenge.

Have you ever been driving and realize you have no clue where you are? Nothing looks familiar. And you wonder how did I get here?

The two lanes on the road split -- one going right, one going left and the lane you're in goes straight and you wonder why? The road you’re on never had a right turn lane before.

You look at the car's compass and it says S and you should be going W. The light bulb in your mind is flashing rapidly with various thoughts and you realize you’ve done it again. Darn. You can’t even back track because the memory is apparently tainted.

You have to make a quick decision because the traffic light is about to change, when suddenly the light bulb turns solid and bright.

"Oh, I think I know where I am. Still how did I get here?"

Then you realize it was intentional. A mile back you approached an intersection where you could turn left or go further and turn left on another street. You tell yourself “Oh, let’s go this way this time.” So off you go, completely concentrating on another matter, forgetting the turn.

Once you realize what you’ve done you start laughing at yourself. The guy in the car next to you is looking at you strangely which causes you to laugh even harder.

You say to yourself, "I really need a GPS", which brings back memories of when the car was purchased.

BH tells you at the time “You don’t need a GPS in your car. You just run errands and take pictures. We’ll have the GPS only in the family since we use that one for trips.” And you think to yourself “Honey, you underestimate my driving ability.” Not that I do this often, but it has happened in the past. And it is often hard to drive, look for street signs, and the directions at the same time when going somewhere new.

So you remind him “What about my assignments.” He says “No problem, I’ll just give you directions if you need them.”

Meanwhile, the amount of extra gas, additional mileage that you've used turning around, figuring out where you are would have more than paid for that GPS.

This causes you start laughing even harder with tears running down your cheeks. You grab a tissue and there's a new guy in the car next to you who thinks you’re crying, possibly bawling!

All of sudden a day that started out in tears ends up hilarious. God, in his ultimate wisdom, has allowed us to be imperfect for this very moment!

The Photo Challenge

I have a very close friend that I love dearly. We both have a love for the outdoors and photography. Last week she challenged me to enter a photo on our state's Facebook page. The only reward was a mention on their Facebook page.

I accepted the challenge. Who doesn’t like a good challenge?

The challenge wasn’t between the two of us, it was us against them. “Them” being all of the other photographers that would submit photos. Maybe between the two of us, one of us would be selected.

The challenge was taking a photo from a hiking trail within our state, but the wording in the challenge also included walking trails. So out we go individually to get the winning photo.

I chose to take mine during the day after finishing my work and before dinner. I soon discovered this wasn’t as easy as I had anticipated.

I have been taking pictures for as long as I can remember. I believe the first thing I ever asked for at Christmas was a camera. I have had so many. Throughout the years I noticed that I don’t take too many bad pictures – at least I like them - until my latest camera.

My photos have been featured on the Travel channel, on posters, newspapers, and in various publications including the Smithsonian magazine.

When DSLRs came out I was one of the first to purchase one. At that time in my life I was considered an “early adopter” (buying technology when first introduced before it was popular). I had purchased a digital camera earlier -- 2.1 mg pixels which was quite advanced and costly at the time, far more expensive than my 35mm Canon film camera with changeable lenses.

My old DSLR had served me well. After taking 10s of thousands of pictures I found myself having a difficult time buying accessories such as a replacement for my remote control and camera battery. And the images didn’t seem as clear as before.

So I decided to upgrade. The new DSLRs now have an HD movie mode. I chose a Canon 7D so my old lenses would fit on the camera and purchased a new 18 - 200mm lens. The combination of the new camera and lens were an upgrade. Wonderful!

I went on a photo shoot with my new camera and all was well, except I didn’t see the improvement in the quality of the photos and the new camera took three times as much space as the old one, quickly filling up the card. It also weighted a ton and after three outings I developed tennis elbow.

I digress… Back to the challenge.

This past week was hot and extremely sunny. Not the best conditions for taking photos, but doable.

I went out several times to walking trails at local metroparks. Upon returning I wasn't happy with any of the photos of these trails. Overexposed. I ran into the same problem a couple of weeks earlier using a new fisheye lens in the same sunny conditions.

Was it me? Or was it the conditions? I didn't recall having difficulty taking photos on extremely sunny days with my old DSLR.

Why has this changed? What am I doing differently? So I start experimenting which made matters even worse. AV, TV, M, manual focus, auto focus, light meter inside the camera, light meter outside the camera, different filters, histogram. All this resulted in extreme confusion.

Hours with my photo editing software -- Lightroom and Photoshop -- examining photos with their settings didn’t result in a solution to the problem. But the same problem existed no matter what camera setting was used. Underexposed, overexposed, correctly exposed, down each stop, up each stop. The same problem existed – bright, washed out areas in the photo.

Was the camera broken? Was there something wrong with the lens?

Finally after taking hundreds of pictures, I chose one. My girlfriend calls on Wednesday night excited that she has submitted hers and was wondering when I would be submitting mine. We thought the deadline was Thursday night since they would be letting us know on Friday.

She tells me which walking trail her photo is from and it is the same as mine. Darn.

Tomorrow is Thursday. I keep Thursdays clear for Burn Notice -- my favorite television series — which includes a daytime marathon on USA Network.

I get up extremely early to get my work done, prepare breakfast for BH and pretty much following him out the door to get my photo from another trail in another city.

It’s a beautiful morning. It’s early and the sun isn’t very high yet, but as you can see in the photo above, it's cloudless. I have taken many photos on these trails before, including midday, and I’m eager to return and compare. The other photos were taken in the fall and now it’s summer so I anticipate the quality wouldn’t necessarily be the same.

I return home after a funny incident, that I will blog next, and quickly look at the photos, knowing there isn’t time to go out again.

I am pleased! In fact I took two, I won’t tell you out of how many, that I loved! There are many photos of the trails that are quite acceptable. Now to choose.

Later that night I submit mine in eager anticipate for tomorrow's results. I submit two, one of a trail and one of a bridge going over the river that is on the trail, not knowing if this dual submission would cause disqualification, but I supposed it wouldn’t since it wasn’t a real photo contest. Below is one of them I submitted.

Friday the results are announced and neither one of us were chosen.

All in all, it was a wonderful week with plenty of outdoor activity, miles of walking, and just enjoying nature. I have become one again with my camera.

A Heart in Sorrow

I am heart sick . . I can’t eat, can hardly sleep. I received bad news last week and there isn’t anything I can do about it. And no, it isn’t going to a cottage and it doesn’t involve BH. :)

We all experience this now and then. It’s hard going through it. It takes time, and time seems to move slowly when this happens.

But I’m reminded of what Mama told me years ago. We will experience grief throughout our lives.

Grief comes in many forms. The death of a loved one;  a mistake made that can’t be taken back; a dear friend that decides to part ways; words that escape that afterwards are regretted; a thought that wasn’t follow through and now it’s too late to act on it; an idea or dream that cannot be fulfilled.

Sometimes it’s serious, and sometimes it’s silly to others. But still you feel devastated by it.

Mama told me there are two options, be sad, angry, bitter, regretful, miserable for something that can’t be change, or grieve for a short while, accept what has happened, or learn from it but then have a funeral.

Bury whatever it is. Bury it deep. Bury it 6 feet under the ground. Deep enough that it will have a very hard time surfacing. Deep enough that it’s hard to get to easily.

Then have a wake. Rejoice at the good times experienced before and rejoice for the wonderful experiences in the future. And most important move on.

I’m not ready for the funeral, but have started preparing for the burial.

Dear friends, I hope if you are going through something similar, Mama’s wisdom helps you as much as it has helped me in the past. We will get through it day by day.

This past weekend I put my sorrow aside and enjoyed time with dear long-time friends and BH. Today I will take another walk along the river, work and keep my mind on other things. Tomorrow I might grieve some more. <3 Anne

Three Words I Hate

Another blog posting from twitter.

Last week I tweeted about hating the words “some assembly required”.  Who came up with this notion? It probably was from the same people who came up with “self-serve”.

“Cost saving measures” “Product cost reduction” something like that. I see it differently.

“Consumer frustration”, “Consumer anxiety”, “Repetitive language abuse”, “Inferior end product”, “Upset spouse”...you get the picture.

Last week’s project involved assembling a 16” oscillating fan on a stand. Ours died last fall, so BH purchased a replacement for this season, just for me. Because he loves me! Unfortunately, he didn’t assemble it. It was still in the sealed box.

BH doesn’t understand why we need a fan, after all we have air conditioning.

I like windows open, he likes them closed.

He feels closed windows keep dust down with a less risk of allergy flare ups.

BH doesn’t care for the air flow of fans or the hum of a fan. But he doesn’t mind the motor noise from the air conditioner, the chilling effect followed by the overheated effect, or the electric bill.

On the other hand I love the gentle breeze of the fan and a constant cooling. I love the outdoors with its breeze, fresh air, and sunshine. I want inside to be as much like outside as much as possible. So I decided to assemble the fan!

It was a nice fan, black, round base, three speed control. Problem was I couldn’t even figure out how to get the pole into the base. Ok, let’s move on to getting the motor onto the fan blades. Nope looks like a missing part there too.

Solution…a trip to the store for a new fan. I found one that was white, didn't show the dust or fingerprints. I purchase it. Assembled it without any problem in just a matter of minutes. Works great, hardly any noise. $19.99. Bliss!

Problem… Didn’t buy a black one.

As I saw it from the instructions there were missing parts so I throw his in the trash! After all we can’t return it since it was purchased months ago. Garbage truck comes...fan is history.

Hubby comes home.

I’m so proud I assembled the fan! I have to show him…wrong.

He says, that’s not the fan I purchased (told you I should have bought a black one). I tell him his fan was missing parts so I helped him out by getting a new one and putting it together for him. He wants to see the one he purchased….you get the picture of where this ends up.

No proof of missing parts. He doesn’t like white fans. $59.99 in the trash! Silence at dinner.

TG he doesn’t have a temper and he loves me!!! Another topic to discuss with associates at the office. What would he do without me?

The Coffee Maker that Will Not Die

Another posting from last week.

Technology is fascinating, wonderful, until...you can't remember a password

Why isn’t there a universal standard on logins and passwords so we can use the same one on all sites? I have so many different ones that it became so hard trying to remember them all that I now have a small spiral notebook to record them and wouldn't you know I forgot to write the one I need this morning in it.

“Okay, universe cough it up.”

I woke up early and needed to access my account on a website that I haven’t used for quite some time. I can’t remember the exact login format or even the password. After much frustration and retries — the system only allowed 5 so that really means 4 — I was able to get a new password sent to me. After entering the new password and accessing the site I was able to change the one sent to me for another this time writing the login and password into the notebook.

I continued working until BH got up and asked, "Did you make coffee?"

"Yes, I just made a fresh pot, just for you honey."

When I went into the kitchen to check on the coffee I noticed that the pot was empty. My first thought was it finally broke. I remembered putting grounds in the container and turning it on. On further examination I discovered the pot was hot. Darn, I forgot the water. It's a wonder it didn't explode. I must have been so wrapped up in the password dilemma and still laughing about the Breaking Bad's "The Fly" episode that I watched night before that I forgot to put in the water.

This coffee maker will not die! Good thing, right? It is very old; a hand-me-down from mom.

A couple of years ago I decided to get some new small appliances for the kitchen that I thought we needed. A large and small food processor, blender, toaster, stand and hand mixer, and a coffee maker; all made by KitchenAid.

They all looked so pretty and matched which was perfect for BH’s Type A personality…so I thought.

He started questioning me, ”What about the mixers in the cupboard? We have a perfectly good toaster and coffee maker.”

“But, these match and they’re new. Besides that coffee maker is very old and will die soon, as will the stand and hand mixer.” After all the hand and stand mixer came from mom that she got in the 70’s as well as the coffee maker from the 80’s.

Thank God, her blender died! They sure made things well back then. Every day this coffee maker is a reminder of that silly purchase. Should I just “shoot it, and be done with it?” Will he notice?

I think a trip to Salvation Army is in store for me in the near future.

Oh well, another topic for BH at the water cooler. What would he do without me?

The Last Words I Wanted to Hear this Summer

Another twitter catch up on Anne’s World. The following is from twitter again (last Monday) with tweaks:

Ok, universe I’ve got something to throw out to you. I’ve already taken it to God, just waiting for an answer. Here is goes…

I need to premise the following with this fact…since USA Network's Burn Notice aired the pilot, five years ago, I haven’t missed a new or repeated episode. They are now into their 6th season.

I’ve watched them all. Even reruns on our local station on Wednesday night. Thousands of airings.

Fact…that’s not going to change…EVER! I hope?

I am obsessed with Burn Notice. In my entire life I have never loved a show like this one, or even close. I can take them or leave them. I usually lose interest by season two. So even if I somewhat still enjoy the show, I don’t mind missing it.

I have never had a crush on an actor, musician or anyone famous, until Jeffrey Donovan, one of the stars of the show. I will blog about this in the future. This show has completely taken over my life. And actually improved it.

BH and I now have routine date nights around this show. Life is good! Life is more than wonderful!

There is one subject I was hoping not to hear this summer, but at breakfast this morning still basking in the awesome Sunday we spent together, BH brings it up.

Vacation! How could an 8 letter word instill such anxiety? Fear?

Mind you I love going on vacation with BH. I love being with him. I want to be with him all of the time…well most of the time.

Ok, all right, no problem. Lately, since marathons have been on every Thursday, BH’s work load has prevented extended time away from his office, we’ve only taken long weekends staying at hotels nearby.

Wonderful! Ok, we’ll go to a hotel. We’ve done that in the past, right? There are some really wonderful ones in our area that are the perfect get-away.

Breakfast in bed, candlelight dinners, room service, maid service, swim in the pool, shop, massages, you get the picture!

Wrong! He lands the next bad news. “I think we should rent a cabin.”

“A cabin?”

“Do they have cable?” “Do they have My TV20?”

“I don’t know. I thought we would rent one up north, for two weeks.”

“Up north? Two weeks!? When?”

“In August.”

“In August?”

Every time he opens his mouth, it’s getting worse.

“Well, I’ve got to get to work. Think about it.”

Think about it? I’m thinking to myself what’s there to think about?

Miss the Thursday Burn Notice marathons, miss the new episodes twice Thursday night, miss Charteracter Chatter and twitter during the episodes, miss the summer finale the end of August, miss Burn Notice? All of a sudden I’m in a living nightmare. The glow from yesterday is gone!

Ok, Anne. How are we going to resolve this one? I thought vacations were supposed to be vacations – fun, enjoyable? Or am I wrong?

I think I'll go shopping!

Trimming Shrubs

Let me start by getting you caught up with things I have shared on twitter.

Last weekend was beautiful. I had spent the week preparing for the weekend so that BH (better half) could rest and enjoy the weekend. He works very hard.

I spent several days outside trimming shrubs that he had been talking about for weeks. The house was clean, laundry done, and a wonderful picnic lunch was planned.

Saturday arrives and my plans were in place. This is how the conversation went on twitter (with a few tweaks):

I would like to spend the day at the river. Long walks. Take some pictures. Have a picnic. BH wants to trim shrubs.

I say “I will finish trimming them for him next week. After all I worked on them this past week.”

I think the trimmed shrubs now have character. He says “they are interesting”.

He thinks he can improve them...make them more even...more rounded. I say “Let's go to the river, Hon.”

He works too hard! He needs to enjoy life. He says he IS enjoying trimming the shrubs. Type A's have such a sense of humor.

You know, come to think about it, he hasn't been sleeping as soundly since I gave some character to our yard!

At least the neighbors are noticing us now, looking our way, waving, smiling...

Maybe he'll make some new friends.

Since he's working so hard outside there are a few tasks he's been meaning to tackle inside. Maybe I can get started on those?

I decide to go to the river by myself. I can see visions of spending tomorrow inside.

The river was so beautiful. When I returned from the river BH looked so cute -- all hot and sweaty.

This is a portion of the river where it separates where I spent a portion of the day.

I bet you think I had fun while BH worked? Yep! Sure did.

But when I came back we enjoyed a wonderful lunch. Afterwards, I picked up shrub clippings putting them in yard waste bags for recycling and helped put away the lawn tools.

I held the rake while he held on tightly to those clippers and hedge trimmer.

No picnic lunch at the river, no problem. Tonight barbecue, friends, good time = #lifeisgood

It had turned cool with the hope of a fire in the fire pit visiting with our friends. Sure enough that’s what happened. Cuddle time watching the burning embers in the pit made up for the missed time with BH at the river.

We both fell asleep pleased with our activities that day and just enjoying the time we had with each other.

I heard this saying a long time ago, “Don’t sweat the small stuff…it’s all small stuff.”

We all have things we love and plans that don’t always coincide with our mate, friends, or responsibilities. It best to accept this reality and just enjoy the life God gave us and if necessary enjoy it anyway we can. After all it isn’t really bad enjoying times, whether in work or play, with yourself since you are your best friend.

Things have a way of turning out if we just go with flow. Life is too short to be upset that we didn’t get our way -– that’s life.

All we can do is take what we can at the moment and just enjoy it. Years down the road you'll be able to look back at your life and you too can say #lifeisgood.