Reflections

This morning my BH awoke then joined me in a room with little white lights glowing and candles flickering seeing me sitting at my computer crying my eyes out wondering what was going on. The mood was festive, peaceful, joyful, but I sat there crying.

“Honey, what’s wrong.” He asked, slightly afraid of what my response might be.

This time of year is often sad for many people as they reflect on the past, or love ones no longer around to share the precious moments of the season with. During this time of year I often have tears after seeing or feeling any number of moments and sometimes I don’t even know why.

But that wasn’t the case this morning.

I awoke earlier with excitement thinking about my new book ‘After the Burn’ and decided that while the house was still quiet I would write some ideas I had been thinking about.

I lit the candles in the room, plugged in the tree lights then started to write.

Soon I discovered that I wasn’t sure of certain events, so I started watching ‘Reckoning’ and typing the words spoken during a few of the scenes to get the answers.

I seldom watch any Burn Notice episode after it first airs by sitting in front of the TV unless I’m watching it with BH. I’d rather watch it on my computer taking screen caps along the way, reflecting on the words spoken and sometimes recording the lines to use later in Tumblr.

I came to the scene with Jesse and Madeline when she asked him why he was still with them after all they had put him through.

After each line that I typed I reflected on the words spoken and those in the previous scenes I had just watched when soon I found myself crying at the thoughts. The writers of these episodes are the best. The words spoken, the expressions of the actors, the mood of the scenes are powerful.

I thoroughly enjoy watching Burn Notice this way. I get so much more out of each episode than many people who just watch it then go on with their lives or turn to another show to watch.

That’s how I handle life now. I take it slower than many people who race around chasing one thing after another. Don’t get me wrong I used to be like that too sometimes. But I also spent many hours just reflecting on different ideas that came to my mind.

Life is not a race. I’m learning that it is an experience. A wonderful experience, if we just look at it differently.

I love my life more now that I’ve slowed down. I enjoy the smallest of things since I can now see them instead of them whizzing by while I chase after things that don’t matter at all.

I write my books that way as well, taking time to reflect on each scene. It’s a slow process but I enjoy every minute of it. It’s almost like I’m living the life of my character. But it’s better, since I can go back and change it whereas in real life we must get it right the first time.

It’s not about how much we fit into our day, but how much we get out of our day.

I may never completely finish a book that I’m writing, especially since they are all sagas or series of the ongoing life of the main character but it doesn’t matter. Since I’m not writing these for money but for my enjoyment, I’m taking it slow.

I will probably be stuck in Burn Noticeville for many, many years to come since there are still too many untold stories to tell about the characters, pictures to capture, and lines to reflect upon.

Reflection is good but it can be harmful. Reflection can make us appreciate everything God has done in our lives. But reflection should never make us feel sorry for ourselves or then we become depressed and miserable.

I sometimes wonder how much I missed before. How many smiles did I miss? How many words spoken by others did I miss? How many people were hurting that I could have comforted if I hadn’t been rushing around?

How many moments of our children’s lives do we miss? They are young for such a short time, but their years are precious. Just sitting watching them, wondering what is going on in their mind as they are discovering something for the first time.

That’s what’s important in this life. Take that which surrounds us and enjoy it to the max. Appreciate every moment since they are precious. We will never get them back.

Life is to be enjoyed no matter our circumstance. It is a more pleasant way to live.

For our lives to be enjoyed, we must be thankful and grateful, with love for all.

Even though I still get upset with the ending of the show, I am so grateful that it happened and I was part of it, if only in the distance.

Life will always disappoint us, but it is better to look at just the blessings that come our way and leave everything else in our past.

We can’t change what has happened but we can take advantage of it instead then use it for our good.

Madeline is gone and Jesse is roaming around some where in Miami. His family is all gone with the exception of Sam. But I’m sure he isn’t sitting feeling sorry himself. Instead he is making a new life from the pieces that are left.

We can learn a lot from the lessons in these shows if only we take time to use them for our advantage.

So now, I’ll pick up my pieces putting my life back together and enjoy today with all that it brings.