A week ago I realized this past week would be a challenge with many approaching deadlines and plans that I wanted to fulfill. I prioritized my list then tackled each one, starting with the most difficult then the most urgent making deadline after deadline including dealing with skunk smell that left me with a horrible headache.
As the week slowly came to a close I felt more pressured to get it all done requiring short periods of sleep to accomplish everything I wanted to do.
I awoke around 12:30am on November 2, it was my birthday, a day I had been dreading all week. At times I feel so old because of my illness and now I felt time was against me as well increasing my age by 1; that was all I had left to make me still feel young was my age.
I read a tweet that said Season 7 was only going to have 13 episodes which upset me greatly. Then I read another article that said season 7 would be the last. Burn Notice is what has kept the pain manageable these past 5 1/2 years and now that was being taken away as well. By keeping my mind focused on Burn Notice I don’t seem to notice the pain as much.
I had wanted to participate in NaNovWriMo (National November Writing Month) to write a novel in the month of November which I had started the day before. I continued to write in my novel while I listened and occasional watched Burn Notice on TV when I wrote a line that made tears come to my eyes as the final episode of the marathon was coming to an end. ‘Last Rites’; Michael was sitting waiting to talk to Fi for the first time since she was in prison trying to desperately retain his composure. I lost it and started to cry. Instead of just tears I was crying uncontrollably.
I went to bed and cried myself to sleep out of sadness which hasn’t happened since the episode where Nate died.
I am by nature a very happy, joyful person and now I was sad.
When I awoke again to get ready for school I started crying all over again. Now I was worried about my Changeling movie presentation that I was to give in one of my classes that day. I was hoping I wouldn’t start crying when I was talking about Jeffrey Donovan’s roll in the movie since it might remind me of the show ending. I also worried about what my husband would say when he saw me crying. I didn’t want to worry him while he was at work.
I regained my composure while I was around my husband until after he left for work and cried once more. Tweets were coming in wishing me a happy birthday. They were so comforting. I hadn’t told anyone about my birthday because I didn’t want anyone to know and have them send me happy birthday tweets reminding me that I was one year older. For some reason I found it so pleasant and comforting when I saw my friend Christin’s birthday wish which started a chain reaction.
During school I kept my mind off from Burn Notice and focused on school and the movie instead. I was able to make it through the day until I reached my car when I started crying all over again.
I came home afraid of reading the tweets. I knew there would many about the 13 episode season next year. Instead I was surprised that there were so many birthday wishes. I was happy once again. I realized that people had been thinking about me while I was at school making my birthday not as bad.
I spent the evening with my husband then after he went to sleep I got up to write in my novel and catch up reading the missed tweets.
I was shocked. There was a tweet in reply to my friend Arifa’s tweet telling Jeffrey Donovan how much I loved him then requesting a shout out for my birthday and Jeff has granted her wish.
I am so in love with Jeffrey Donovan which I can’t even explain why. I have never been interested in any other man other than my two husbands. I don’t believe in coincidences so feel there is a reason why I’m so drawn to him.
I never expected to hear from him and never made a request myself. I thought if I ever received a retweet, reply or tweet from Jeff I would start screaming at the top of my lungs jumping up and down for joy then dance around the house or just pass out.
Instead I just sat there without even a smile on my face. I was awestruck. I kept reading the tweet over and over again not believing it was sent to me. I couldn’t move, I was frozen and my heart felt like it had stopped beating. Tears started streaming down my cheeks. I felt so honored, blessed, grateful and humbled all at the same time because of his tweet. The emotions were overwhelming and I couldn't stop crying or even type a response.
Instead, I started reading and answering the tweets from my friends who were wishing me a happy birthday or congratulating me on receiving his tweet. I often returned to his tweet to make sure it was real. Excitement grew with each tweet until I was almost giddy.
I couldn’t write in my novel since I was unable to keep focused. I finally responded back to him then caught up on all of the remaining tweets.
After calming down, before going back to bed, the tears returned and the same grateful, honored, blessed & humbling feeling once again returned bringing me to tears. I was so fortunate to have friends that cared so much and he responded in kind. I went back to bed and cried myself to sleep, this time out of happiness.
I am a blessed woman. Thank you all for making a day I dreaded into one of the most amazing days of my life.
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